Jay Lorenzen,
(formerly) Department of Political Science,
United States Air Force Academy
[Oct.15, 2013]–
In Eric Crep’s book Off-Road Disciplines: Spiritual Adventures of Missional Leaders, I confronted a new discipline: reverse mentoring.
Reverse mentoring is the practice of holding mentoring sessions where the mentor becomes the student. Whenever we tap into the wisdom of the young, we develop an important reverse mentoring relationship.
Reverse mentoring is not meant as a replacement for other forms of mentoring but as an essential complement to them.
Reverse mentoring (R-mentoring) may be illustrated in part by an imaginary conversation I’ve played with in my mind. The conversation is between Jesus the Carpenter and Peter the Fisherman. In this conversation, Jesus turns to Peter and says: “”If you’ll teach me to sail, I’ll teach you to nail.” I’m not sure why I find that so clever, but I do—maybe because it illustrates a wider understanding of discipleship and leadership development. Or maybe just because it rhymes.
Teachable
While it’s obvious that we all need at times to learn from the young, we seem hesitant to enter such relationships for several reasons. Creps observes, for example, many leaders (faculty and others) tell themselves that they must appear knowledgeable and powerful in every area–even when they are not. To do so is to lust for the center in every relationship. But if we as faculty check that attitude at the door and develop a soft heart, we will find wonderful allies in the young who will make us even better at our calling.
To develop such a heart, Creps suggests that we learn to:
1. Ask questions – then ask more questions. A natural curiosity provides an enormous asset in any relationship–particularly between older and younger.
2. Take notes. By visibly taking notes, we demonstrate to the younger person that we value what they are saying. It displays a seriousness that engenders a growing relationship.
3. Find multiple younger mentors–depending on the subject at hand. Look for the younger mentors around you—in technology, in music, in art and culture, etc. Younger mentors can give you a crash course in “now.”
(c)2013 Jay Lorenzen