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marriage-and-kids2

Peggy Huckaby Mellichamp
Faculty Representative, Faculty Commons

[Nov 30, 2008]—

I married my best friend.

Rae and I have been best friends for 52 years (48 of marriage and four years of dating) and we are looking forward to many more years answering God’s call together.

Looking back, I would say that our friendship didn’t deepen by default; it has been very intentional—a result of commitment to God and to each other. It has been a way to honor the sacred vows we made before God and to each other in our church in Toccoa, Georgia, in 1960.

Our marriage like every other has had its challenges; it hasn’t always been easy.  In 1963 Rae was stationed at a radar site in Alaska with the Air Force for a year while I was at home in Georgia with two toddlers, commuting 100 miles a day, and trying to finish my college degree.  That was tough!

When He Thinks He’s The Center Of The Universe

And, of course, being married to a strong-minded professor who sometimes thinks he is the center of the universe (don’t all profs think this?)  can be challenging.  But because of our commitment we have always persevered.  An interviewer once asked Ruth Graham if she had ever thought about divorcing her evangelist husband Billy.  She replied, “Divorce—No!  Murder—Yes!”

Here are a few things we have done which, I think, have made our marriage enduring.

For most of our married lives we have been close enough to Rae’s work at the University of Alabama for him to come home for lunch.  While the children were living at home, this was often the only uninterrupted time we had to discuss issues that concerned raising our family, or that needed prayer.

We Walked Together

For years we walked in our neighborhood together in the mornings or we would go together to the university indoor track.  We have continued walking together in our new neighborhood in Atlanta.  It is a great time to talk through things—a bit harder now since we rarely wear our hearing aids when we walk.
We were a host family to many international students over the 25 years we were at Alabama, and I taught English as A Second Language for 15 years as a volunteer.  This meant that we entertained a lot together in our home, plus had couples’ Bible study classes for the international students.

Rae and I made it a priority to pray together. Prayer is one of the most important things any couple can do together, and making time for it in our schedule has often been a challenge; like others, we are never satisfied with the quality of our prayer time together, but we keep working at it.

If You Continue To Enjoy His Jokes

I enjoy Rae. I genuinely like all his stories and jokes—always laughing as much or more than others.  My mother observed to me as our relationship became serious, “If you continued to enjoy his jokes and stories as much as you do now, then your relationship will be great.”  She was exactly right. For me it is a way to show Rae the respect God says he deserves: “So again I say each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33)

These are simple things.  But they have seen us through the challenges of almost 50 years together.  And I am confident they will continue to serve us well as we finish our first fifty and start on the next fifty.

© 2008 Peggy Huckaby Mellichamp