On the brink of my retirement after thirty years in the academy a friend asked me, “What is your greatest accomplishment?”
I instantly recalled a treasured remark made to me by my provost: “This won’t be the same university without you.” Perhaps that will be my singular accomplishment: I made a real difference.
Don’t we all want to say with June Carter Cash, “I’m just trying to matter?”
To the extent that I “mattered”, I am gratified . . . and humbled. Only that which I did in, by, and through the Spirit of God really mattered, I guess. But I still ask myself, “What did I actually do that ultimately matters?”
What Matters Ultimately
My junior colleagues told me that I mattered because I mentored them, that I was authentic, my true self, their servant, and, thus, a disciple of Jesus. I loved my students with the love of the Lord, serving them with all the creativity I possessed, making no secret of my inner motivation: to follow and to serve Jesus by serving them.
All that mattered, I guess.
The university recognized my efforts with the designation “Distinguished Teaching Professor,” but it was an affirmation of my resolve more than of my success.
In the lab, I unraveled some of the mysteries of God’s creation in my scholarship, first glimpsing a few truths that are significant. By seeking knowledge to honor God with the work of my hands, I worshiped Him.
That mattered too, I guess.
Failure Mattered Most
But I believe that the greatest accolade came from a colleague overheard to say, “Sam—he’s a real Christian.”
This remark came not from my success but, rather from what God did in me following my failure when I was fired as department chair.
I was deeply hurt when the outgoing Dean inexplicably refused my reappointment for a second term, an incident that became instantly infamous on campus.
Nevertheless, by the grace of God at work in me over several weeks, I was able to forgive her. Strangely, after that experience I had a credibility I had never experienced before, perhaps because my behavior was so very different from the natural, expected response.
No Room for Pride
As I look back, I see again that there still remains no room for pride, as Paul reminds us, “We have this treasure in earthen pots.”(2 Corinthians 4:7) All that I may have accomplished was due to the surpassing greatness of the power of God in me—not by me.
Yet I received honors beyond my accomplishment. I attribute this to a phenomenon that was explained to us in the days of the judges: “I will honor those who honor me, [says the LORD]” (1 Samuel 2:30).
What I learned in nearly thirty years in the academy is that one’s efforts will matter only when they are founded on Jesus Christ and built of that which is fire resistant and golden.
Those achievements really matter.
Sam Matteson